Definition of Reality

So this is a curious topic. Reality means, by definition on the Merriam-Webster webpage, totality of real things or the quality/state of being real. This in turn, makes me look up the strict definition of real. Real, again using the Merriam-Webster dictionary website, means not being artificial, fraudulent or illusory. Again, this makes me look up the definition of illusion. An Illusion, according to Merriam-Webster, is the state of being intellectually deceived or the perception of something objectively existing in such a way that causes misinterpretation.

Based on this, reality seems relatively straightforward. But these definitions don't necessarily give the concept of one's own reality. In fact, what you perceive to be true, whether or not it is the truth, drastically effects how you perceive your reality. So truth is all subjective.

Take this situation as an example: your diamond ring goes missing. At the same time, your friend obtains a ring that looks exactly like the one you lost, leading you to believe that they stole it from you. The evidence does point to your friend being the perpetrator, but your friend tells you that she bought the ring the day before yours went missing. However, when asked to produce a receipt, she cannot because she threw it away. While this was an error on her part (almost everyone I know throws away their receipts, even though I was always taught to keep them), she did actually buy the ring. But everything points to your friend stealing your ring. Therefore, you shape this into your reality and you can no longer trust your friends. It doesn't matter what your friend says, because you've already unconsciously passed judgement and no longer trust her.

Take another situation: your lover goes away on a business trip. He returns with lipstick on his collar or perfume on his clothes. If you want dramas or movies, obviously he was having an affair. But he tells you he had gone to a bar or a strip club with some colleagues and that a woman had come onto him, which he politely declined. There is nothing you can do to prove otherwise, because you weren't there. You ask him to produce a receipt and he says that there was a joint tab and one of his other colleagues paid it off. This wears at your conscience and eventually you lose trust in your partner.

Now in both of these situations I used the pronoun "you" as means of immersing you, the reader, into the situation. While I gave you, the reader, all the major facts, the you in the situation only knows one side. Please keep this in mind when thinking about these situations.

And now for the final bit: your reality and memories can change via suggestion. For instance, I can suggest that your lover also hadn't answered his phone that day. You would then further attribute that as evidence to his affair, even though it was because he had been in a meeting all day and was unable to answer it. I could also suggest that your friend had been near your jewelry box on the day your ring disappeared, even though she was helping your clean your house. Again, further evidence.

I find that those with a very vivid imagination (those who tend to write, read, or draw especially) tend to do this a little less than the average person, and I think this is in part because they walk the fine line between the worlds/lives they create and the world we live in. But I also find in the case with many people that in part, they have a tendency to exaggerate facts or recounting of details. Just about everyone has done this, to some degree.

Now this is not necessarily a bad thing. It makes for an interesting story, for sure. But the tricky part is when you do this with memories. You have the ability to change your memories over time. The key example is societies who recite history and stories orally. Over time, they are warped into something considerably different than what actually happened. "He was rather tall" turns into "he has as big as a house". Or, in the case above, "My lover hadn't really talked to me that day" turns into "he never talks to me" which turns into "he's grown so cold toward me". Now you might not think this is all that valid, but think about it the next time you exaggerate.

Last bit of food for thought is how a positive memory can turn negative. If you bring up a positive memory when you are feeling down, it gets a slightly negative connotation. If you do it enough, eventually the memory will become negative. So, for instance, you're upset and you look at a picture of the person who you're upset with. It, for me, usually brings mixed feelings to the surface and usually results in me throwing the picture down in disgust. The better thing to do is listen to music when you're upset - that way you don't ruin all your good memories.