High School and Thoughts

I hated high school. My first two years of HEL, I was slowly adapting to being alone and fighting what I call the "two-world phenomenon" (*see below). All those close to me went to another school and I chose the hard road - to go to the school I was zoned for because they had a good engineering program. Sadly, I later realized I no longer wanted to be an engineer. One of the only highlights was that I started performing skits with my friends from middle school. That eventually wound down before we broke up the skit group. I'm still friends with them, but we're no longer close in any way aside from our interests remaining the same.

The other highlight is that I started going out with my boyfriend, who slowly grew to be my best friend over the 3 years we've been together. I love him so much and I truly don't know what I'd do without him. I talk to him about pretty much everything and he knows me like no one else. I sometimes long for a female companion to rant to (the girl I'm closest to doesn't actually talk much, she's more of a loner), but I dunno. I'm hoping college will give me the fruit of friendship, but if the TWP happens, I won't get that.

Sadly, high school relationships...They don't tend to last. And that's why I want a female companion. In the end, my relationship will fall apart, just like my middle school ones. Distance makes the heart grow fonder only if it's for short periods of time. Years make it impossible. You change. They change. If I continue going out with him, I'll...end up going through the TWP and introvert yet again. If I break up with him...I loose my best friend, closest confident, lover. The other option that he refuses to consider is to make our relationship permanent, but I agree that since we're both just starting out in life, getting married would be foolish. It's so sad that high school relationships aren't real.

The 3 years I've known him doesn't count like in the "real world". In the real world, we would have most likely celebrated our first anniversary as a married couple. Here...I dunno. I'm not in, by no means whatsoever, a hurry to get married, but I dunno. It's hard to think about how if I had met him in college instead of high school...I've been with this guy for a long time, 3 years and a month on the 27th of June. We learned how to kiss together. We lost our V together. Together our awkwardness in the act of lovemaking faded. We experimented. We grew from lust to love. Yet...none of the time I spent with him counts. It's unfair. I love him so much, yet...I don't know if I could ever even consider going through it with another. It was fun, but...I don't know. I thought I was bi-sexual before I met him - probably still am. He's got a feminine personality and he found his masculinity (what little he has) with me. I have always despised being female, yet he always made me feel good about it. I got into cute skirts and adorable blouses with him. He changed me. I changed him. Together our adorkableness faded into what mild confidence we have now. Any male I met in the future would have to be okay by my occasionally rough and harsh and bitchy personality. He knows and forgives me for it (especially when it's not entirely my fault due to stupid chemicals in my brain). He loves me for me. Could any other guy do that same? Could any other guy be as unselfish as him? In my opinion, I treat him awful in comparison to how he treats me, though he says different.

But, in the end, for my own selfishness and mental act of protection, I want to break up with him. He's my world. And I want to end it. Not because I don't love him. Not because I don't need him desperately at times. Not because I don't want him. But because I'm scared of going through THAT again.

HE chose to go to another school after all but lying to me, getting my hopes up for something he didn't actually want to do. He got accepted with honors at the college I'm going to. He chose to go to the local community college in order to "be cheaper on his parents" which he originally said wasn't a factor and because he needed to "find himself". To this day, 4 months later, I still say it was because he didn't have the balls to move out and be on his own, but he says different and I have to respect that what he thinks. He's a social person. He makes friends very easy and he'll have plenty of friends at the community college because a bunch went to our high school. I'll be virtually alone again. I'll have to fight TWP. I'll have to struggle to make friends when my father said I can't live on campus. I'll have to struggle with the stupid program they made for those they didn't have the heart to reject, but didn't think they could fully accept. And god FORBID I cry over this. Because it was his decision and it's over and done and there's nothing I can do to change it. Because crying over it now makes it harder for him to deal with it and then he'll start crying too.

He does it a lot. I feel bad, but what can you say when your male lover cries more than you? I started that. He bottled his feelings like any other male and I started it because I felt he should be able to cry about a friend of his dying. Guys CAN cry too. I just...I can't take it when it's nearly once a week that he does it...I probably cry about once or twice a month, particularly due to certain chemicals that make me angry and bitchy too.

I do love him. I do accept him. It's just frustrating. Especially now that because of this decision, I get barely any time with him. He comes over and spends the time either sleeping, fucking or doing homework. No super cuddle time, no real gaming, or talking. And then he goes home and either games or does MORE homework. He said that he was taking 5 (I think) college classes over the summer. He plans to have his associates in a year. I laugh at the "finding himself" excuse. If only life were like a Disney movie or a novel.

I'm sorry, blogger. I didn't mean to pour this out, but it's gotta go somewhere and I can't talk to my best friend about it.



*("Two-world Phenomenon" - Those you care most about go somewhere else. You try desperately not to grow apart, yet it IS inevitable. You don't realize that, so you don't focus on the new people you see every day. You make plans with said friends as often as possible, leaving no room for the new people. You exist in two places, but will not truly be a part of either. In the new place, you are seen as an introvert. In the old, you are the one who left, who no longer gets the inside jokes. It is the worst place to be and to those who try, only heartbreak is around you.)

Something Cute, Something Fudged

Something Cute~

Moving on from the horror of a couple days ago, I did something I find adorable today. I love surprising people in a good way and today I took a slurpee to my boyfriend while he was at work (He works at a restaurant as a hydro-ceramic engineer). The happy look on his face made it worth totally beyond the $1.50 I spent.

There needs to be more of this in society. Good people doing good things. Letting someone merge on a highway. Helping an old lady with her groceries. Giving a stranger a cup of coffee. Kindness should be spread. Do something special for a loved one today.

Something Fudged.

Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill - 2010 (see CNN, they've got all sorts of stuff on it)
Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill - 1979
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHmhxpQEGPo
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ixtoc_I_oil_spill

YOU compare the two.

Oh, the HORROR

I, if you might have guessed, am an anime fan. It was the original springboard that got me into Japanese culture. I've diverged since my younger days. I still like anime/manga, but I don't obsess over it anymore and it probably only takes 2 hours a month from my time. However, I still feel and sympathize with my fellow "otaku" (which is an inaccurate word that was brought over from Japanese to English).

Yesterday, my mom found a DVD collection of Chobits (which I believe is no longer in production) in our driveway (mind you, I have a long dirt driveway). We had a party last Saturday where it had fallen from a trunk. We're pretty sure it had fallen into a mud puddle (due to the soaked nature of the once-beautiful-artwork that encased the disks and the dried mud on the disks themselves). If I had been just mud, I think the disks would have been quite salvageable. However, there was some crushing going on at one point because the plastic in the case is destroyed and the disks have some serious indents from grit.

In order to aid those who love their CDs/DVDs, I shall post a quick tutorial and some alternate links on how to clean them in the event something like this happens again. (Poor unfortunate disks...)

Getting the GRIT off (Method I used)

1. Soak the disk in water, using a bowl that fully fits the disk and more. Do NOT heat the water, as that might cause the disk to warp.
2. After at LEAST 5 minutes, remove what dirt you can from the cover side of the disk. This is to prevent more dirt from getting onto the data side.
3. After removing the disk and setting it on a towel, empty, rinse and refill the bowl with unheated water. Place the disk back into the bowl. (This will be done several times)
   
4. Make sure the disk is fully submerged for another minute.
5. Take a Q-tip and let it soak in some water. Then, VERY gently brush the dirty off of the disk. I cannot stress how gentle you must be. Every extra scratch further damages the disk.
6. As the bowl fills with dirt, repeat step 3. You should be able to brush the dirt off without other dirt getting in the way.

Now that you have the grit off, you should be able to see all the damaged parts of the disk. Don't give up hope yet (I haven't, though I'm doubting).

The next step is to actually CLEAN the disk and this is the tricky part. Disks must be shiny, with no finger prints or anything on them. There are a couple options for this. You can go out and buy a soft lens cloth and some disk cleaning solution. You can do what LOC says (see below). Or you can possibly take it to a DVD rental or Used Game Store and have them clean it for you. I'm not sure if they will or not though, because you're not a customer. I'm sure if you offered to pay for the service, they might reconsider or tell you some info on how to get it cleaned. This is the method I plan to use for removing the scratches.

http://www.loc.gov/preserv/familytreasures/ftpreserv.html
http://www.loc.gov/preserv/care/record.html

These two links are run by the library of Congress and have information on how to clean and preserve your disks (and other materials).

WARNING
Disposable lens cleaning towelettes damage the disks. I noticed this myself. I'm pretty sure it was because there might have been grit, but I don't think I'll be trying again with those.

E3 and More Schtuff

So E3 just announced the Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. Yay for Zelda fans. The PS3 and the 360 also have new motion technology made popular by Nintendo (they needed to get on that bandwagon) but with their own flair. Hmm...

I added Tofugu, LonelyPlanet, and Nihonshock to the list of useful links.

Tofugu and Nihonshock pretty much just focus on language aspects with little random tidbits thrown in there. Both also have useful cheatsheets (but I think you'll have to surf for them a bit). LonelyPlanet is a traveling website with useful info on pretty much everywhere.

I'll post more later.

Interesting Stuff

For Cosplayers - Cosplay.com is opening up a new wig store with wigs imported from Japan but redesigned to accommodate larger heads. Yay~ I have a big head and I used to have a LOT of hair, so I'd get headaches even with larger wigs. Hopefully my chopped off hair shall fix this, but yeah. Take a look yourself.

http://www.cosplay.com/showthread.php?t=210984

Japanese Convenience Stores - Foreigners Godsend or Not so Convenient?

So I've done a bit of research on conbini or convenience stores in Japan. There are SEVERAL different chains including:

• Seven-Eleven
• Lawson
• Family Mart
• Circle K Sunkus
• Daily Yamazaki
• Mini Stop
• am pm
• Coco Store
• Seico Mart

Google maps actually shows all the little labels for conbini over the building. There are MORE that just what google shows, but it gives you an idea. Familiarizing yourself with such icons is important because it'll help you if you need to grab a quick bite to eat or if you need batteries for your camera. You don't HAVE to know Japanese to be able to get around. Just google the store and you should get an icon.

While conbini are everywhere, they aren't necessarily the cheapest option. Think of it like shopping at 7-11 all the time. Good for snacks, but not really for grocery shopping, right? In Japan, conbini also serve pre-made meals which can be heated up for you. This is a decent option for lunch (a meal would be around 500 yen or $5.50).

------
Edit (same day)

Figured I should add some other stuff, rather than make a new post.

For Japanese words, I go to Denshi Jisho.
http://jisho.org/

Denshi Jisho can be used to search for kanji meanings, for words in Japanese, and phrases. You can search by radical and reading, which makes it very users friendly.

For the stroke order of kana and kanji, I go to Kajijun.
http://kakijun.main.jp/en/

Kakijun isn't as user friendly as DJ, but the menu on the left side is how you navigate. You can chose from Hiragana, Katakana and kanji. The kanji are organized by their romanized readings (meaning japanese words with English letters).


Words, when certain syllables are stressed, can change meaning. Content can also change a meaning. Here is my list so far. I shall add more over time in new posts (copying the old one) because most people don't understand what I'm talking about when I refer to this.

Example of a word that, when
COMplex - exaggerated concern or fear (inferiority complex, superiority complex)
comPLEX - complicated or intricate

Lead - to lead a group
Lead - a metal
Lead - you are being lead by a leader

Another curiosity I have with English is homonyms. Words that sound the same but are spelled differently. Google homonyms.

Let's Get Something Straight

I saw a LOT of comments about bugs and insects in hostels, especially about cockroaches. Cockroaches are disgusting little critters, but Japan has them just like everywhere else. JulieinJapan (see side panel) states that there IS a cockroach problem in Japan, but this is everywhere and NOT just because it's a "trashy hostel".

You can read her helpful tips to minimize this problem here:

http://www.julieinjapan.com/2010/01/ofuro-japan-tips-bath-cockroaches.html
http://www.julieinjapan.com/2008/08/cockroaches-have-made-me-better-person.html

I have also read that there are bedbugs in hostels. This is true and it isn't true. It IS true that hostels are more likely to get bedbugs than your home, but hostels have pretty much the same chance to get bedbugs as a regular hotel. The only thing that raises there chance more than a hotel is that you could have 12 people from 12 different places in the same room, meaning 12 chances that one of them could be carrying the critters. However, hostel does NOT equal bedbugs. Do some research.

If you suspect bedbugs, the best thing I can tell you is to keep your luggage off the ground and away from walls. Wash everything in the hottest water possible and perhaps douse the mattress in rubbing alcohol. I HATE bugs. I hate them. But if you're going to be traveling abroad, there's always the chance so just deal and take precautionary action.

So far, all the reviews I've found for Yadoya (and you've really gotta search) say what I already figured. It's tiny, it's cramped, it's cheap. Hopefully, there won't be bugs.

More on Travel

More things I've found out.

When going to a country with a different writing system, culture shock is a big possibility. Not only are you in a foreign country with a foreign culture, but you're illiterate. This makes it rather hard to memorize city and place names, since they're written in another writing system. Tokyo wasn't a "planned" city. This means not only will you have issues reading city names, you'll also have problems memorizing street names. Why? They don't have many. At all. This also means that roads are not in the easy-to-navigate-because-they're-all-straight-and-numbered method of city planning. Japan's addressing system is also REALLY different from what America uses. Here's a comparison:

American - 1234 Street, City, State 00000
(house number)(street), (city), (state)(zip code)

Essentially, there is NO ambiguity in our system. No one has the EXACT same address and it's relatively easy to find because of the "zip code". Another reason our system is different is because we start small and then work to the bigger fish.

Japanese - 〒100-8994 Tōkyōto Chūōku Yaesu itchōme goban sango Tōkyō Chūō Yūbinkyoku
(Postal code)(Prefecture-to)(City-ku)(City dictrict-chome)(5-block)(3-house number)

Think of it like zooming in by section or gradually using higher powered magnification. The idea behind it isn't bad at all. The only problem is that nothing is in order. Your next door neighbor could be on the other end of the house number spectrum. The last 3 are usually written as a string of numbers. In this case, it would be (1-5-3). There is some confusion as to how to use this address system with google maps. So far, I've had no problem, but some people report having to google it using Japanese characters. With the new postal code, there isn't much ambiguity, however it will still take awhile to find an address without directions.

Eating Cheap

I've really no clue. The best thing I can say is give the Japanese grocery store a go or eat convience-store meals. Using this method, you should be able to keep meals around 1500 yen a day. I'll let you know how it works out.

First Time

I guess I should start with introducing myself. I enjoy music, learning random bits of information, reading, and gaming. But I find traveling is, by far, the most enjoyable thing out there. There are people out there who act and react so completely different from the way you do that it boggles my mind. In a little less than a month's time, I'll be on a plane to Japan, where I will spend 20 days of my summer.

This is the first time I've posted on blogger in literally years. I think the last time was in 8th grade? I just graduated as of Monday and decided that I should open up a blog to document college/travels/etc.

The first thing I think I should post is the fruit of my research. I have found several decent places to stay that don't slaughter the budget. They are more hostel-style, but for a student without a job, it's like heaven. These are the two I have most seriously considered.

http://www.cheap-accommodation-tokyo.com/index.html
($20/night)
http://www.shrek-watta-house.com/rete.html
($40/night)

I'll post my review of whichever one I stay in after I return.

The next thing is that despite most students in Japan learning English in school, most people won't be able to speak it. This is due to "teaching to the test". The English tests in Japan focus on being able to write/read it, not speak it. So learning a few Japanese words/phrases is very important, especially if you're not going to be in touristy areas (Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto, Okinawa, Sapporo). Google Tofugu and read through his blog. He's got some good Japanese phrases somewhere on there. I also suggest reading JulieinJapan. She's been living there for awhile now and has many interesting facts/stories.

That's it for now, more tomorrow I hope.