That Feeling

I have wanted to come live in Japan since before I can remember. I was able to get a chance through my university - they had an exchange with Waseda University. So far, I really love living here. But I do miss the things that are normal in America.

For instance, people climate controlling their homes. Only those above the poverty line can really afford it...because electricity is so much more expensive.

I miss the cheapness of American foods. I can't really find frozen foods here and I have no idea how to cook with Japanese ingredients (not that I knew much about cooking before I came here). So for now, I've been living quite expensively out of konbini, but I plan on making a trip to the supermarket soon to stock up on dinner foods - like top ramen.

I miss being literate and not having to say, "sumimasen, kono kanji wa chotto..." every time I want to buy something...

I miss hair products for white people - they use such heavy products here, so it feels like my hair is always greasy.


I miss my brother. I miss my boyfriend. My parents, my friends. I knew I'd miss them and it hurts really bad to think that I have to endure life without them.

But as my younger brother put it, I'm living my dream. How many people can say they achieved their childhood dream? So when I get people who ask me, "you're studying abroad for a year? That's too long!" I agree, it is too long. But it's something I have always wanted to do - the time has already flown. I'll have been here for two weeks on Tuesday.

And today,  I missed my cousin's wedding. I've known him all my life and I'm so happy for him. I'm glad he found someone that he's willing to spend his life with. But at the same time, I'm really sad that I wasn't really able to spend that time with them...It was so early and because I was afraid I would wake someone, I didn't speak - I really just spectated. And of course, I had to volunteer within a couple hours and needed to catch up on the missed sleep...

I suppose I should clarify - I'm very happy that I was able to study abroad. I truly am - but there are a lot of things I miss and I really wish people would stop reminding me of everything I had to leave behind. It hurts to think about.