A Rant on "Friend-Zoning"

Before I start, I should mention that I've only ever been in one relationship and that we've been together for quite a long time - so some of my opinions on this matter might be a bit off, but I have experience in dealing with the "friend-zoned".

It should also be asserted that I may be slightly biased in my opinions. I am by no means a feminist, but as someone who has always been very uncomfortable with my gender, I occasionally feel the need to voice my frustrations at inaccurate stereotypes.

The whole concept of friend-zoning is rather depressing. For those who are unfamiliar, it's the notion that a individual, who has romantic interest in another, is kept at arm's distance because the other party isn't interested him or her romantically. It's a modern term for unrequited love. Usually, but not always, this term is used to refer to men who have been boxed into this "zone" by a woman.

I understand that the rejected party feels hurt. I truly do. I've had to give heartening pats on many occasions. But one must understand that, in most cases, it is not meant to be hurtful. The other party doesn't want to engage in a romantic relationship with the individual in question and there could be REASONS for the rejection.

Examples being:

• You smell funny. Maybe you forgot to brush your teeth. Maybe you're wearing too much deodorant or cologne. Maybe you forgot to change your socks. Or it could just be your MHC genes are different, making you smell funny just to that one person.
• You have nothing or little in common. If you're going to spend copious amounts of time together, don't you want to be able to have awesome conversations? If the only overlap is sports, the two of you would be doing very little talking...and that's nothing to base a relationship off of. Many people are okay with such physicalities, but in a long term (and satisfying) relationship, you need to have the same notions of spending time with one another. If she likes spending her free time at the gym and he likes playing video games all day, you may have some problems.
• You have viewpoints on certain topics that the other party STRONGLY disagrees with. Such as religion, whether or not to have children, treatment of said children, crazy conspiracy theories, the ability to talk to dead people (a friend once dated someone who claimed this...)
• You make the other person uncomfortable. If you come off as crazy desperate, most of the time you aren't going to find a date. If you constantly stare at the other person's body parts (breasts, crotch, etc), you will make the other party seriously uncomfortable. If you are overly insistent, you're probably going to have issues. I had a guy beg me to go off with him once - he grabbed my hand and refused to let go. That is NOT okay and it seriously makes people uncomfortable. 
• The other person might not find you attractive. No other way to put this. This applies to everyone. Watch this video to feel better: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYUtVsA-wi4 
• Some other quirk or habit that the other person finds off-putting. If you drink until you drop on the first date, there might not be another one. If you're constantly texting/browsing the interwebs during the meal, the other party might think that YOU think they're boring.

This next bit applies to everyone. When you try to become friends with someone you want to have a relationship with, especially if he/she is already in a relationship, try not to get disappointed when the person rejects you. That person didn't become friends with you for the same reason. That person saw something nice in you, but that doesn't mean s/he wants to get involved with you that way. S/he saw you as someone worthy of being friends with. That doesn't mean that s/he hates you, or even "friend-zoned" you. That person probably doesn't even know that you had ulterior motives. 

This seems MUCH more common among men than it is among women, but it really does apply to everyone. When you have ulterior motives in becoming friends with someone, that person can be just as hurt when s/he finds out you only wanted to get into his/her pants. Think about that.

As of today...

Today marks the start of my last month in Japan. Guess I should say something?

I have very mixed feelings. It's not that I don't want to go home...it's more that I don't think I'm ready to leave, especially since I've made so many wonderful friends. I've gotten used to this new "normal", this routine.

And to be honest, I'm really going to miss the freedom of living alone. It can be very, well, lonely at times, but I can choose what I want to do and when. I'm not limited by things like having to make sure someone knows where I am at all times or having to wait forever just to catch the bus/train. Hell, I'm going to have to re-establish my dominance over the car when I get back, especially if I have a job. If I'm too lazy to make dinner, I can just pick something up at the Aion or the 7-11 or the Lawson - and I don't get scolded when I want to eat junk.

I'm also afraid of all these moving-out procedures. It's VERY daunting - even more than moving in was. But I'll get through it.

Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan/進撃の巨人

So those who know me, probably have heard about how I'm literally obsessed with this series at the moment. It is very well crafted and causes the reader to question every piece of information they're given. After a second read-through of the manga, I came up with some theories and realizations on several different topics in the series.

There will be a lot of spoilers, as I'm essentially analyzing Shingeki's plot.

First and foremost,

A lot of my speculation comes from the obvious answer that the people residing within the walls are NOT the last of mankind. We have a least four instances of this (Annie, Ymir, Reiner and Bertholdt). 

Ymir's Story vs Annie's Story

So, if you're caught up with the manga, you would have glimpsed pieces of both Ymir's and Annie's backstory. It seems that Annie was trained for infiltrating "mankind's territory", as is evident in her hand-to-hand combat training. She also seems to have a considerable amount of control over her titan form - which is very unique due to it's distinct female shape. I speculate that she is a human turned titan in a similar way to Eren.

With Ymir, however, it has been heavily implied that her story is very similar to that of Christa Renz/Historia Reiss and that she might be from a very powerful family outside of the wall. The evidence is in the backstory between Ymir and Historia (chapter 41). Ymir can also, like Annie, transform into a titan - but her form is not feminine in the least. It is, in fact, a "normal" titan in appearance. She has the ability to speak, however, leading me to believe she's a deviant class titan. (Refer to the deviant class titan section). Further evidence that she's like a human-turned-titan is in the small backstory flashback about her titan form, Reiner and Bertholdt.  Unlike Reiner and Bertholdt, Ymir seems to have no knowledge of the Ape Titan - this makes her a bit of a wild card. But both her and Reiner seem to be shooting for the protection of Historia -likely  making her an important figure to those outside the walls.

Reiner and Bertholdt

I am almost positive Reiner and Bertholdt are originally from the outside of the wall, as is evident when they ask Eren to return with them (and then kidnap him). They, along with Annie, were likely trained to infiltrate the walls of mankind. They are the Armored-Titan and Colossal Titan (respectively) and I speculate they were turned into titans in a way similar to Eren - which gives them their distinctive forms. I can only guess at their objectives, aside from that it is likely they were ordered to bring down the walls of mankind by a higher entity (which is likely the Ape Titan). 

Christa Renz

It is revealed in chapter 41 that her true name is Historia Reiss and she's the illegitimate daughter of a very important aristocratic family. According to the priest Hanji was talking with, she has the right to know all of the secrets of the wall and it is implied to that she has the right to other answers as well. Through her, we may learn just what happened 100 years ago and why there are titans in the wall.

Connie Springer's Village

I believe that all of the titans in the attack starting in chapter 35 are actually people from Connie's village. When all of the evidence is added together, it makes a lot of sense. There was no sign of a struggle with the titans, despite plenty of signs that they had destroyed the village. The stable remained full of horses. A titan unable to move was laying on Connie's house. This titan not only resembled his mother, but spoke the words "おかえり”, which means welcome home. In the first instance where Connie recalls what happened, Reiner dismisses it rather harshly. In the second instance, Ymir brushes it off with laughter and jokes in an effort to drop the subject. This indicates that it is likely possible for humans to be turned into titans.

Eren

Eren's ability to turn into a titan is likely due to the injection he received from his father shortly after the first wall fell. According to what memories he can recall, all of the answers to the current situation of mankind is in the basement of his old house - which was crushed by a giant rock. 

However, Eren's titan form seems to be the only one that only vaguely resembles him - with the exception being his eyes. 

The Walls

There are titans in the walls and it is very likely the walls are made with the hardened crystal skin of titans. In addition to the Ape Titan, this leads me to suspect that the "last of mankind' is not actually the last - but an experiment set up by titan "scientists". Furthermore, the author often used "birds in a cage" to describe Eren's opinion of the walls.

The Deviant-Class Titans vs Normal Titans

I am now reasonably certain that the reason titans differ is because most are humans-turned-titans that do not  have the ability to shift and deviant class titans might be ones that can return to their human forms. This has yet to be proven, but if one uses Ymir as a bit of a case study, she is definitely a deviant class in that she can talk and be reasonably well controlled when trying not to eat people. This seems fundamentally different from  Eren, Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt, who don't seem interested in eating humans at all.

The Ape Titan

The Ape Titan is very intelligent, but it's unlikely that he's an actually titan. It's more probably that he, and his colleagues, are crazy scientist-type creatures experimenting on the human race. This is evident in that he attempts to erase evidence that he was inside the wall (having Mike killed and throwing large rocks at Castle Utgard) and that he took Mike's 3-D maneuver gear saying it was interesting and he would take it back for analysis. 

There is speculation that the Ape Titan is Grisha Jager, Eren's father, but at this point, I'm going to say it's unlikely.

A Guide to Trains in Japan

I plan on eventually making a video to accompany this post, but a lot of people don't understand the train system in Japan (Tokyo in particular) due to the extensive network and variety of trains that stop. I'm going to try and simplify the craziness as much as I can.

I would like to say, first and foremost, that I LOVE the public transportation system here, even with it's complications. There is NO need to rent a car in Japan with all the trains and buses - unless you plan on visiting particularly rural areas or are in a large group. Even then, most buses and trains will get you in the ballpark of where you need to go. While many from Europe argue the expense of Japanese public transit, I've been told renting a car can be phenomenally expensive as well - between the rental fee, gasoline (petrol) and toll fees, you're looking at a hefty bill.

This article will be focusing on the Tokyo train system. If you're visiting Kyoto or Osaka, please click their respective links for information regarding travel in those areas. However, some of this information might be useful!

For the sake of convenience, I highly recommend getting a rechargeable fare card known as an IC Card. In Tokyo, there is the Pasmo card and the Suica card. These are interchangeable within Tokyo, but the Suica card can be used on all JR lines throughout the country - the Pasmo is limited to Tokyo. Other cities will have their own IC Cards. You can obtain either of these at Narita Airport. I highly recommend this for tourists - the Suica and N'EX deal.

Now for the trains themselves. There are types of trains one should be familiar with when looking to board any train in Japan. Keep in mind that terms will vary depending on the train line you take and again, do your research before leaving to ensure you get the cheapest/fastest compromise.

Shinkansen - the very fast bullet train. These will be quite expensive. It's more costly to go by train from Tokyo to Osaka than it is to fly, although it tends to be faster over all due to airport waiting times and hopping onto a train to the airport/city. Depending on the line, there are a variety of speeds (and prices) one can take - just like the trains mentioned below. This is because all Shinkansen run on their own tracks and most people are going to the major hubs (and not the "smaller" large stations). If you plan on using a Shinkansen, check this out, because it goes into way more detail than I plan to write down here.

Limited Express - the fastest-non bullet train. While these are cheaper than the might Shinkansen, there's usually a seating charge and it will only stop at the largest stations. If you can figure out which car doesn't have a seating charge, you may get lucky and snag a seat. However, keep in mind most people don't want to pay the fee either nor are there more than two or three per hour - it will be crowded during rush hour.

Liners - similar to the limited express train, but are most often used by commuters. There is usually a fee, but the seats are typically unreserved.

Express - Half-way between limited express and rapid.

Rapid - these are the fastest trains you can take without a surcharge and typically only stop at larger stations and transfer points. They can come in a variety of types, so it's important to do your research ahead of time to ensure the train will stop at the station you want. If you didn't, there's usually a chart on the platform showing what trains stop where, but this is usually in Japanese. Knowing the characters for your station might be helpful in this situation. As an example, these are the rapid trains on the Chuo line.

• Chuo Special Rapid - stops at major stations between Tokyo and Tachikawa, branches west to Takao
• Ome Special Rapid - stops at major stations between Tokyo and Tachikawa, branches north to Ome
• Commuter Rapid - only on weekday evenings between Tokyo and Tachikawa
• Commuter Special Rapid - morning service with two trains from Otsuki, two from Ome and one from Takao

Local - the train that stops at every single station, without exception. If you're visiting a small station, you'll likely have to transfer to the local line to get there. Most trains in the US count as local trains.

Overwhelmed yet? Don't let it daunt you. I prefer the Tokyo system for a reason. I'll use the Chuo line again as an example. From Shinjuku to Takao, there are a total of 19 stops (60 minutes), but the commuter rapid train only stops at 11 of those (55 minutes) and the special rapid stops at only 8 (41 minutes total).

While the time difference doesn't seem substantial, it adds up on train rides over an hour long. In addition, having a variety of trains helps alleviate some of the congestion. If you haven't see the "traffic" during the Tokyo rush hour, you should watch THIS. Please ignore their commentary. It's the Tokyo Metro Tozai line - and it just happens to be the line I ride every morning. This is going in the opposite direction, so I get a mostly empty train when I get on, but after it's just awful.

Now, you're probably wondering how people navigate the crazy maze that is the Tokyo public transit system. My favorite website is the Tokyo Metro Transfer Guide because it automatically edits out shinkansen and the most expensive options. However, it doesn't have a timetable built into it, so if you're looking for a train at a specific time, check out Hyperdia.

Navigating Stations in Tokyo can be a huge pain. Even Japanese people have problems and in large stations like Shinjuku or Tokyo, it's not uncommon to get lost. It is VERY important, particularly with these large stations, to make sure you know which exit to take. Most stations towards the center of Tokyo have four exits. Shinjuku station has over 200! These stations are usually designed to accommodate 10 car trains - meaning they are quite long and making a mistake can cause you to be late. If you need to, write the name down.

That's all for now. If you have questions, drop a comment down below.

A Post of Opinion

In the wake of the Texas stabbings and the Boston Marathon Bombings, a small part of me wonders - is this backlash from the gun crackdown?

Currently, I live in another country as a study abroad student. Many of the other students are from Asia or Europe - they think America's gun laws are stupid. They think that's why we have "high rates of crime".

My argument has always been that people that want to hurt someone, or a lot of someones, will always find a way. Putting a gun in someone's hand does not usually make him want to go on a murderous rampage. The people responsible are usually sick - any weapon they can get their hands on will aid their cause. In the Boston Marathon Bombings...it was two bombs.

My heart goes out to the victims of today's explosions. I am glad that so few people died - it is mostly injuries.

Game of Thrones Season 3 Impressions

This WILL contain some spoilers. If you're not familiar with the Game of Thrones series, stop here. Go find a way to watch the show OR read the books. Both if possible. It's a fantastic series and I honestly think that it should be read in senior year of high school - granted, all the sex and brutal violence might turn off most schools.

I am watching the series as it comes out and I'm reading the books. On to my impressions. Last warning for anyone who hasn't seen or read the series.

Stop, reader. 

Stahp.

You're spoiling the greatest series ever.

Okay. Hopefully that deterred any wayward individuals.

Now. Where do I begin?

Only two episodes are out so far for this season (episode 3 will air 10:00 am JST), but I'm already in love. Jojen and Meera are fantastic and exactly as I imagined. Actually, they're even more attractive than I thought. Jojen's actor, though he plays a 13 year old in the book (if I recall correctly), is actually 22 years old. It DID mention, many times, that he appears much older due to all he has Seen.

The show is already working on making you pity Theon Greyjoy. Those first glimpses are essentially what his life has become. Although, unlike in the book, he seems to have kept all his fingers. And they don't seem to be flaying him. 

Despite some added scenes, the show has introduced Margery in an entirely different light. Unlike Sansa, SHE plays the game. And she plays to win. It's already getting under Cersei's skin. 

They have added a lot more depth to Shae than was in the book, but this will add clarification for events later. I will say the same about Gendry. Both turn out to be more minor characters in the book, but they focus on their relationships with the two bigger players (Arya and Tyrion).

I'm getting disappointed with the slow progression of the series. Both of the actors for Arya and Bran are growing a bit too fast. In the book series, I believe Bran started out as 8 and Arya was 9 years old. If I recall correctly, Bran is 10 and Arya is 11 in the show. 

Hopefully, GoT will amend the aging problem by totally doubling production. But...that'll never happen.

Working toward Fitness

While keeping track of the calories I'm eating is pretty annoying, it IS helping. I am a visual person and it enables me to see the calories I'm eating (for better or worse). I will say I get antsy about it - a prime example will be days I'm bored. Like most humans, I have a tendency toward boredom eating. It is my own speculation, but boredom eating makes sense from a biological stand-point.

Back when nutrition was poor, the people who sought out food in their free time would gain nutrients and calories - both of which were not easy to come by. In today's food age, I can just grab a bag of junk and much on that. Twenty minutes ago, I devoured several fistfuls of Cheez-its while reading a book.

However, I see that in the record and I adjust my activity for the day. I do some calisthenics or walk briskly around the block.

I'm no where close to my goal of loosing a pound of fat a week, but I think increasing the speed and distance I can walk is pretty beneficial.